J.A. St. Thomas

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

“Did you see that dress?” "I saw the dress.” "Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?” When he spoke, I could barely hear him. "You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep.”
― Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

“Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock