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Spike Milligan
“The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon
tags: humor

Spike Milligan
“Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“Money! Father Rudden had tried everything to raise funds to repair the church, he even went to the bank. 'Don't be a fool, Father!' said the manager, 'Put that gun down.' Money!”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“The youngest member of this ageing community was ex-variety artiste, Patrick L. Balls. Fifty-nine now, he spent out his remaining years pulling a rope lift and bottling fruit. He had once whistled Ave Maria for Queen Victoria. She wasn't present at the time, but nevertheless that's who he was whistling it for.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

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