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Spike Milligan
“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“Author? Author? Did you write these legs?'
'Yes."
'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“The youngest member of this ageing community was ex-variety artiste, Patrick L. Balls. Fifty-nine now, he spent out his remaining years pulling a rope lift and bottling fruit. He had once whistled Ave Maria for Queen Victoria. She wasn't present at the time, but nevertheless that's who he was whistling it for.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

Spike Milligan
“The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon
tags: humor

Spike Milligan
“Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thought of it made him miserable.”
Spike Milligan, Puckoon

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