Tina

“Imagine how much you’ve got compared to all the kids in the world getting blown up or starved, and the good you could do if you spent half a second thinking about it.
Suddenly evil isn’t punching people or even hating them.
Suddenly it’s all the stuff you’ve left undone.
All the kindness you could’ve given.
All the excuses you gave instead.
Imagine that for a minute.
Imagine what it means.”
― Daniel Nayeri, Everything Sad Is Untrue

“Labels and comparisons really are no-win. If it is a positive label, kids will always fear losing it. If it is a negative label, someone gets stuck with it.”
― Robin Berman, Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits

“The best way to stop a little debater in his tracks is a tool I call reverse negotiation. It works like a charm. Here is how it is done: you tell your child that negotiating will no longer be tolerated. If you are thinking that it's not that simple, you would be right. But wait, there is more--you add that when your child negotiates, not only does he not get what he was asking for, but he gets less than what he started with. Let's give it a whirl:

PARENT: Bedtime is at eight.
CHILD: I want to stay up until eight thirty.
PARENT: No, it's eight.
CHILD: I want to stay up later.
PARENT: Now bedtime is seven forty-five.
CHILD: Fine, I'll take eight.
PARENT: Now bedtime is at seven thirty.”
― Robin Berman, Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits

“But what we called love down there was mostly the craving to be loved. In the main I loved you for my own sake: because I needed you.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce