Bonnie

“Please don't worry. It's a psychological complaint, common amongst ex-librarians. You see, she thinks she's a coffee table edition... ”
― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke

“Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way."
-The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
― Christopher Moore, Bite Me

“She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature--that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends