Status Updates From Harrison Bergeron

this is an eerily brilliant short sci-fi story of how equality can't be all utopian. The concept was very fresh and unique.

Gee - I could tell that one was a doozy," said Hazel.

"You can say that again," said George.

"Gee-" said Hazel, "I could tell that one was a doozy."

It became their obvious intention to kiss the ceiling. They kissed it.

And then, neutraling gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long, long time.

I shall now select my Empress!" he said, looking down on the cowering people. "Let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne!"

A moment passed, and then a ballerina arose, swaying like a willow.

Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear, snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask.

She was blindingly beautiful.

I am the Emperor!" . . . I am the Emperor!”
“Everybody must do what I say at once!"
“I am a greater ruler than any man who ever lived!

His thoughts fled in panic, like bandits from a burglar alarm.

THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else.
[. . .]
Some things about living still weren't quite right, though. April for instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime.

bored at work and i came across this

read this during ELA and it was surprisingly thought provoking for a satirical short story