Status Updates From Aigua viva

Rereading 🧘‍♀️ I’m a little scared: scared of surrendering completely because the next instant is the unknown

“I’ve got a confession to make: I’m a little frightened. For I don’t know where my freedom will lead me. It is neither arbitrary nor libertine. But I am unbound.”

What you will know of me is the shadow of the arrow that has hit its target.

I then fear myself who knows how to paint the horror, I, creature of echoing caverns that I am, and I suffocate because I am word and also its echo.

I enter the writing slowly as I once entered painting. It is a world tangled up in creepers, syllables, woodbine, colors and words—threshold of an ancestral cavern that is the womb of the world and from it I shall be born.

I’m entering a very new and genuine chapter, curious about itself, so appealing and personal that I can’t paint it or write it. It’s like moments I had with you, when I would love you, moments I couldn’t go past because I descended into their depths.

Idk if I’m smart enough to get this

“writing I can’t manufacture something as in painting, when I use my craft to mix a color. But I’m trying to write to you with my whole body, loosing an arrow that will sink into the tender and neuralgic centre of the word.[…] I don’t paint ideas, I paint the unattainable “forever.” Or “for never,” it amounts to the same.”