Status Updates From My Cousin, My Gastroenterol...

Makes no sense in a dumb way. Not good to read when sick. Going on the back burner

I didn’t expect the Queen’s hand to be so sweaty, so soggy. I was also surprised that her accent was Southern and not British. I expected lockjawed noblesse oblige, but I got “Y’all come back and visit Buckingham Palace real soon, y’hear.”