Status Updates From The Frozen Rabbi

Please make it make sense that an American girl in 2000 has listed Canadian pop punk princess Avril Lavigne as her diva when her debut album didn’t come out until 2002….

“Sex is for the poor man his davening. of course, there’s the eating and drinking and the chitzpedik movement of the bowel, but ah, the shtupping! I’m shtupping almost every night, almond on Monday, almost on Tuesday…”

“It was surely a blessing to have their tzaddik back in their midst again, apparently intact even if frozen stiff, but what now? In former days it was the rebbe himself to whom they would have applied for advice, but he was unavailable for comment”

Portnoy allusion on page 1!? Oh no…