Status Updates From Valencia

how come everyone’s wearing latex gloves for sex

the experience of reading this book is like listening to ur friend tell u some crazy gossip in the pub

“I had a dream after she died that she brought me to the point of death and then shot me up with electricity, pure sex, and oatmeal. Oh, she ate oatmeal every day, her friends told me. She thought it cured depression. I didn’t know that. I barely knew her at all. She was on hold, someone I’d be friends with when she got her shit together. And then she died.”