Status Updates From Finders Keepers

Honestly I could have left it on the shelf. The dialogue is so unnatural. I teach college writing and one of the first things I teach is not to make things sound unnatural. We don’t use people’s names often when we speak to each other. EVERY NEW LINE these characters use each others names.

“I am telling you right now,Thea…” Barnes scolded.

“Oh Barnes, you need to relax.”

“Now, Thea, I mean it.”