Status Updates From The Calvin and Hobbes Porta...

Calvin attempts to rope swing into a lake like Tarzan, but it fails because the water looks too cold. Mhmm.

Calvin wants to ride in the shopping cart as his mom pushes it. Then he wants her to push it down the aisle and let go. Not too thrilled about that.

Susie tells Calvin she saw a turtle at the creek. After Calvin tells her he doesn't care because he's seen millions, he goes to check it out himself, only to get laughed at by Susie.

Calvin is watching TV when Mom says dinner's ready. When Mom says he's not watching TV, Calvin exclaims he's right there in front of the set. Mom tells him he's not, and suddenly Calvin's on his way to the table.

Calvin orders his dad to tell him a bedtime story or he won't go to bed. Dad gives him one where he locks Calvin in the basement forever, and Calvin comments that he doesn't like stories with morals.

Calvin and Hobbes make pancakes in a rather unconventional way. Rather than making twenty pancakes like the recipe says, Calvin just wants to make one big-ass pancake and cut it in half. Yeah. You enjoy that, Cal.

Calvin and Hobbes test out the Theory of Relativity on Calvin's wagon, hoping for time to stop as they go faster. It fails, and they go off a cliff and crash, but time still stops for them ... when Hobbes's watch breaks.

Calvin and Hobbes are going snorkeling, but doing so in the kiddie pool isn't as fun as they hoped. Lol!

Dad is about to grill hamburgers on hot coals, but Calvin is upset when Dad won't pour the entire can of lighter fluid on them to make a big fireball.

Calvin and Hobbes approach Susie to show her their disgusting faces, but they give up the jig when Susie tells them it's an improvement.

At dinner, Calvin tells his dad that his face has frozen into a grotesque expression forever, like Mom said, even though Dad says it hasn't. Calvin then puts a sack over his face so he won't spoil dinner.

Hobbes sees Calvin trying to make his face freeze into a gruesome expression and decides to join in because he "always liked gargoyles".

When Calvin learns that his mom is making salmon for dinner, he makes disgusted faces. However, he becomes intrigued when his mom tells him his face will freeze like that some day. Uh oh!

Calvin and Hobbes run together super fast in an attempt to create a sonic boom as the break the speed of sound or something. The results create no sound, only a tired Calvin and Hobbes.