Status Updates From Đavo je moj drug

Phew, finally finished! I've not been actively reading this since I started it, but it's still taken me a very long time even discounting the breaks. My Serbian is so bad and I find it quite hard to get hold of interesting reading material for it now. I'm not going to write a review for this, because a lot of it probably went over my head and that seems unfair to the book/author, but I will see Boban is the WORST.

So close...

-Nikada nisam mislila da ću ovo reći, ali mi ne možemo da budemo zajcdno, barem ne dok se malo ne središ!
-O, hvala kurcu.
-Sta?
-Ništa. Nismo više zajedno. U redu.
Dijana je počela da plače. Bila je veliki emotivac.
-Ne moraš da mi šalješ poklon - rekla je ona kroz plač.
-Dijana, idiote.
I to bi bilo to. Dijana i ja više nismo bili zajedno [...] Konačno sam se omrasio Dijane.

FINALLY. Boban is the worst.

Dijana me je zvala u ponoć i deset minuta prethodne noći i pitala me zašto nisam zvao da joj čestitam rođendan. Postojao je taj glupi običaj da jedno drugo za rođendan zovemo čim otkuca ponoć. Naravno, onako posran u noći između subotc i nedelje nisam imao snage da je zovem.

- Ti si jedno đubre! Namerno me nisi zvao da bi mi upropasrio rođendansko slavlje - nervirala se ona.

(Bad) English translation below.

....yes, I'm still reading this...with massive breaks in between...but maybe I'll finish it eventually... it's probably good it's taking me so long because I need to work out where else I can reliably get Serbian/Croatian reading material that isn't just the news...

Veći deo dana proveo sam ležeći u krevetu i svakojake misli su mi se motale po glavi. Misli koje su mi govorile da tu samoći neću izdržati, misli koje su mi govorile da ću napokon umreti. Biću prvi čovek koji je umro od samoće.

"Most of the day I spent lying in bed with all sorts of thoughts flying round my head. The thoughts which told me that I would not survive this loneliness, thoughts that told me..."

So, I've not touched this since January. Today I finally picked this and my dictionary up again, familiarised myself with where I'd got to and carried on. I do really want to finish it! It was too much when I had so much reading and language work to complete for my degree, but now I need to be careful not to lose all my Serbian instantly. If I manage to finish this it'll be my first completed novel in Serbian!

– ...DOGUJEŠ MI! I nisi smela da dođeš tako obučena kod mene.
– Ti u meni vidiš samo seksualni objekat!
– Nije istina, ti si mi drugarica, ali u ovom trenutku to mi duguješ!

– ...You owe me! And you shouldn't have come to mine dressed like that.
– You only see me as a sexual object!
– That's not true, you are my friend, but right now you owe me that!

Anita, why are you still here? Get away from Boban!

– Ljudi koji kasno počnu s pušenjem, imaju veće šanse da umru od raka – rekao sam joj.
– E, baš me boli uvo. Od nečeg mora da se umre.

– People who take up smoking late have more chance of dying from cancer, – I told her.
– Eh, I don't give a damn. You have to die from something.

Boban is the worst and Anita should run for the hills...

Matursko veče bilo je jahanje mrtvog konja, to je bilo kristalno jasno. Jedva sam se nekako privikako na to da više nema škole, a trebalo je to jedno prokleto veče izdržati i gledati svim ljudima u lica. Dijana me je obavestila da će neki njen dalji rođak biti voditelj programa, da je njen kum organizator maturske večeri [...]. Bio sam, dakle, pod prismotrom.

Boban under orders from his girlfriend again.

Idiote, gde sad pred kraj godine da nokautiraš nastavnika! Izbaciće te iz škole.

Boban leaves it until the very end of the school year to knock out a teacher...

Gospode bože, nesrećna Dijana je okretala moj broj i uspela nekako da uleti Aniti i meni u vezu. To se može samo u Srbiji. Na svu sreću, izgleda da ništa nije čula. Da je čula Anitin glas, verovatno bi joj se sve u glavi složilo i već naregnog trenutka bi ušla kod mene s makazama kojim bi mi odsekla kitu.

Only in Serbia! Boban's luck at getting away with cheating on his girlfriend may be running out? Maybe...

Kad je već sve išlo nizbrdo, zašto ne bih malo dodao gas?

Boban's philosophy on life and his poor choices: "When everything has already gone downhill, why would I not add some gas?"

"Zaključio sam da sam stoka. Onda sam u jednom trenutku imao viziju Dijane kako mi kopa oči, a u sledećem trenutku sam shvatio da je još uvek volim. Nekoliko trenutaka kasnije ponovo sam došao do zaključka da sam stoka." ... I think this realisation (that you are an ass for cheating on your girlfriend constantly) is a little bit late, mate.

Do I start a tally chart for how many times Šestić has cheated on his girlfriend? I feel like I might lose count by the end of the book.