Status Updates From Inside (Death Row Chronicle...

Damn this book got hands. Making me CRY

I read this while offline and tracked some progress updates on my kindle. So now I am retroactively adding them here on goodreads.

ch20: "I don’t know if I love him, but I know I could if given time. But we aren’t going to get that time. So yes, I broke some rules and defied your orders. I’d do it again."

I love this. This is how falling in love works. How it should work. There are no premature declarations in this book and I'm here for it.

end of ch19: "You better cross your fingers, Mr. Miller. You’re asking me to work a miracle."

Even though I know there will be a miracle, I am actually nervous and shaking right now!

ch16: Anson is talking about Derrick. "I was on afternoons with delightful young Derrick. How I managed to end up with him all the time, I had no idea. The one positive: he was easy to manipulate and order around." etc.

That's another point against Anson. This was kinda mean. Derrick has been nothing but delightful. Anson's just bitter because Derrick's attention gives Anson less opportunity to talk to Bishop.

ch14: "I glanced at Javier to see if he understood. The man’s lips were pinched together, and the minute we made eye contact, he snorted, spraying beer across the deck as he laughed."

Sublime! I love how NJ broke the tension here!

“I don’t blame her anymore. Ayanna was doing all she could to protect herself and her son. [...] I guess you could say she was like the sister I never had. Wouldn’t you do all you could to protect your sister, even if it bit you in the ass? [...] She was a victim. I’m not angry at her, and I don’t blame her. I don’t blame anyone for me being here."

I'm loving this explanation and maturity from Bishop.

“She did this to you. She refused to speak up or have your back, yet you were the first person she called when she was in trouble, and you ran to her aid every time. You did time before this because of her.”

NJ is writing what I'm thinking and asking what I'm wondering. Cool!

ch11: "And … I’m pretty sure his feelings are returned."

Oh no! This is a major point against Anson. He shouldn’t have outed Bishop. He'd told Bishop "I'll keep your secrets, you keep mine" and now this?! I understand he wants to talk to a friend. But if he'd just omitted this sentence he would've been good. And Javier isn't stupid. He would've figured it out on his own, and that way Anson wouldn't be outing Bishop.

"Did she take Keon and run? Did she call the cops and hope they got there on time? No. She called me. Stupid woman."

I like that NJ is acknowledging what is logical. She isn't playing the reader and asking us to take anything she writes for granted. She's acknowledging what should have happened in an ideal world but also leaving room for her story too be told how she wants by having Ayanna probably crippled by fear.

ch 10: "Why she felt the need to tell him, I will never know."

Smh for real tho. All I can think of to excuse this is she was young and suffering from years of violent sexual and domestic abuse.

"He’s a criminal. A murderer, my brain whispered. But I no longer believed it."

More about the same (it's this thought progression that I'm admiring the most in this book). Even though he's decided he doesn't care for the evidence presented to him thus far and to trust his instincts, that doesn't mean that he's trusting blindly. He's acknowledging the presence of that seed of doubt but choosing not to listen to it.

Quote in previous update is immediately followed by:
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Not always. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my day, but I’ve never felt more conviction about something than I do right now. Maybe that makes me an idiot. Only you would know for sure.”

This! Anson is wearing rose-coloured glasses but even those have a pinprick to allow logic to seep in. He’s just choosing to ignore it.

"The truth is in a person’s eyes. They are gateways into your soul. If you look hard enough, deep enough, then you’ll see what’s real and what’s not. You’ll see their true nature. You’ll see the truth. And you’re not a monster, Bishop Ndiaye.”

That's really cheesy lol. But in my eyes, imma let it slide just because everything else surrounding this declaration is so much better and so good.

"Except reading the articles didn’t petrify my heart toward Bishop; it had the opposite effect [...] I’d spent three hours trying to convince myself Bishop was wrongfully accused because his crimes didn’t fit the personality of the man I’d seen a mere handful of times behind bars."

See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Stuff like this kind of awareness is what makes an author stand above the rest.

I'm loving chapter 5. This is exactly where Anson should be with his thoughts about Bishop. He should not have a conviction of Bishop's innocence; and he doesn't. He's starting to wonder and question Bishop's guilt but then he think something like "What the fuck is wrong with you? It doesn’t matter." Yeah, I'm really liking this progression in Anson's thoughts.

This story is so sad what the hell

A few tears have fallen 🫡😭😭

Damn, Bishop didn’t stand a chance against proving himself innocent. Especially when society would rather believe a white man over a black one and it doesn’t help that the white man has connections too.

I wonder if the author did research for this book, it feels like they most likely did & I had no idea that this book wasn’t a standalone type of series 😭

"I wish, for one day, I could be out of this here cell. Just one day," he whispered.
"What would you do with that day?"
His fingers hovered over mine, sliding along the reinforced glass and curling as though to grab on to me. "I'd explore whatever this is between us."

I ONLY FEEL PAIN 😭💔

Why are you doing this to me again, Nicky James?! Why is it that apparently you always make me teary eyed with a lump in my throat?!

Omg this book is so good 🥺😭

FUCK FUCK FUCK! This is breaking me 😭😭😭