Status Updates From Spearcrest Saints (Spearcre...

“In the brief summer of freedom between the end of GCSEs and the start of A-levels, I read Peter Pan.It’s better than I imagined it would be, but reading it is nevertheless a joyless task. I annotate it obsessively, scrutinising every line for insights into Theodora’s mind.”

AWWW

“Who are you dressed as?” I ask lightly, pointing at him.

He raises his right arm, showing me the gleaming hook at the end of it. There’s a slight grin on his face.

“Captain Hook? Thought you weren’t a fan of children’s literature.”

He shrugs. “So? It’s your favourite book, isn’t it? I thought it might amuse you.”

“I skip out the game of hide-and-seek. I have no intention of running through the muddy woods in my pristine angel costume, getting chased around by drunk, horny boys.”

angel girl i love her

“Theodora in sleep looks soft and delicate and sweet as a marshmallow. I could take a bite out of her—I have the incredibly childish urge to reach out and press my mouth to her cheek, just to see if she tastes as sweet as she looks.”

“Theodora is an excellent speaker: she doesn’t rush, she enunciates everything, she’s thoughtful and eloquent. I like her voice too: it’s quiet but clear, and it has this musical lilt to it. Her voice suits poetry and it particularly suits Shakespeare. When our English teacher picks her to read out loud, everybody listens like they’re under a spell.”

“I’m too young to die, and I have so much left to do, to see, to learn. I’ve still not deciphered the mystery of Theodora. I can’t die without knowing all her secrets, without having the shape of her heart and soul imprinted within me, without holding her close even once.”

“The truth would be too difficult to explain because it would mean telling him I’ve been depriving myself of food for weeks to look good in this dress. The truth would mean telling him that I am always hungry.”

😢😢

“I can’t help it. I laugh. “Fine. Your handwriting is incredibly tidy. There’s your compliment—take it and go.”

He takes out his phone and types a note.

“Excellent,” he says, looking up. “So far this year, I’ve got ‘not insignificant’ and ‘tidy handwriting’.” He locks his phone and slides it back into his pocket. “You’re really sweeping me off my feet, Theodora.”

“You’re normally much more subtle than this when you’re fishing for compliments,” I point out with a mocking smile. “Feeling a bit desperate?”

“I’m always desperate for a compliment from you, Theodora.” His smile is easy and guileful. “They are the rarest of treasures. How could I not want to collect them?”

“The book of Theodora sits in the middle of my heart. It’s not going anywhere, and I’m very patient. I’m going to learn its language, and I’m going to decipher its code. I’m going to read every page until I know the text better than I know myself, until every word of it is inscribed on every part of me.”

“You’re welcome, and you’ll always be, I want to say. I’ll pick up every highlighter and pen you drop. I’ll hold every door open and carry all your books. Just ask me, Theodora, and I’ll do it.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I’m broken, if there’s something wrong with me. Everyone around me is bursting with emotions: anger, frustration, joy, sadness, triumph, love, hatred. I feel none of those things. Mostly, I feel tired and numb. Sometimes, I sense the emotions, but not directly, not fully. I sense them like ghosts.”

“It’s a system designed to keep us forever competing but never victorious. But it’s not a system that’s clever enough to work on us.Because in the cold hostility of our home life, Zahara and I have an alliance forged in marble and gold.I have her back, and she has mine. This is something I know will never change.”

“I’m patient, though. Like two celestial bodies bound by the same gravity, Theodora and I can never quite escape one another.Of that, I’m certain.”

“She’s like Snow White in the glass coffin; I can see her quite clearly but never reach her. Like Snow White with the bite of poisoned apple in her throat, Theodora seems to be suspended in some dormant state, waiting to wake up.”

“They are all like you, but you are not like them. Men have more freedom in this world—it is not fair, and if you had been lucky enough to be born a boy, you would not have to endure this injustice. If you were born a boy, I would not have needed to speak of this with you. Because boys—men—cannot be ruined in the way women can. Do you understand?”

i hate her dad omfg

“Theodora Dorokhova. Even her name is special. I repeat it in my mind after she says it. When I’m alone later, I’m going to say it out loud, the way I do when I’m reading a book and I find a particularly satisfying sentence. Too satisfying to keep in my head, so I have to speak it, so I can taste the words and feel their weight and texture on my tongue.”

“Theodora Dorokhova is going to be the most important person I meet in Spearcrest. Everything about her is delicate and fragile, like a porcelain doll. Her eyes are big and vividly blue. She’s not beautiful yet, she’s barely even pretty, but she’s going to be.She’s going to be one of the most beautiful girls in the world.”

“My father’s anger spins a web of fear around me, a mantle I can never shake off. It makes talking in front of him difficult, it makes my stomach squirm with nausea when he’s near, and it fills my sleep with dark nightmares.”

“I must accept that God did not give me a son,” my father would say. “But I refuse to accept that God would give me such a weak child.”

Not a son, strong and bold and proud. But a scared, weak little girl who can hardly bring herself to speak without weeping.

“My voice is locked inside my chest, and my father holds the key.”

oh this is gonna be sad

WHY ARE ELEVEN YEAR OLDS TALKING ABOUT ANIMAL FARM BRO THIS IS CORNY

“my father is russian and idk what he does for work but he’s powerful and we are loaded”
yea wrap it up bro

Oh my god i just read his first "I love you" to her 😢😢😢😢😢 it's so beautiful and sudden I'm fuxking crying now 😢😢😢😢 I love how angsty it is that they can't have eachother but he still loves her this is so beautiful sad and sweet