Status Updates From Dunkle Nacht, verbotene Lei...

“Let’s do this, girls. We are about to bust onto this male-dominated scene in a bigger way than ever before.” 👈🏻 ….Yup. *calmly sets book down & leaves the room* …. *returns wearing safety gear & carrying a flame thrower* Stand clear, everyone. I GOT THIS HANDLED. 🔥🔥🔥

‘There was something even more intimate about this moment than all the sexual encounters they’d shared. Talking & diving deeper into each other’s lives only pulled them further over the relationship line, though she wasn’t about to bring up that uncomfortable topic.’ ….I can’t decide whether to yawn or barf.

This dude is a complete FAIL of hero. He’s a pussy, whiny, passive beta whose only claim to hero’ness is a good body & supersonic stud service. The guy may as well be a man-sized plastic doll whose blowup gizmo hooks into his peen. 😑 Is this the new age “alpha” I’m supposed to lust for, Harlequin?? Gimme a fuckin break.

I feel like Peter on Family Guy, when he went to see “The Even Couple” at the drive-in. THERE’S NO CONFLICT HERE. 😑 Two grown-ass adults, no prior commitments, no child or money problems, no abusive family, no miscommunications, no life-threatening events, no blackmail or villainy. There’s literally nothing keeping them apart except their fake Hallmark Channel hang-ups.

‘Damn it. He’d never been like this before. He never actually cared abt post-coital feelings or wanting to have a chat. What the hell had happened last night? When had he transitioned from fast, frantic sex to wanting to discuss it? He almost didn’t recognize himself.’ ….Open mouth, insert spoonfed cliché disguised as Characterization. Zzzz.

‘She realized he was rolling up the cuffs on his dress shirt. Mercy sakes, the forearms were coming out. She fell into that category of forearm-loving women—she couldn’t help herself. There was something so sexy about those strong muscles that were usually underrated.’ ….I hear that, girl. Gimme all the beauteous forearm candy. 😈

Why does this prose feel like it’s written at a 4th grade level?

Continuing my baseline research of recent non-historical Harlequins (results are wildly mixed), here’s a random Desire to compare with the HPs. I can’t lie; mostly I chose it due to the older (late 30s) Spanish hero—because yes, I’m that predictable. 😶 Also, every time I see the title I hear that twangy Black Keys song in my head. 🎶🎵🖤

If it wasn't for fear of a black eye when my kindle fell and hit me in the face when I inevitably fell asleep last night I would've finished this in one sitting. Fast paced and oh so delicious