Status Updates From The Science of Stuck: Break...

Trauma is not an illness – it is an injury and it can heal.

When you start feeling sick...you stay hydrated and rest. You don't think, 'This is just who I am.'

The thinking of [the 1500s] also produced a belief that persists to this day—the belief that feeling stuck is due to laziness or lack of motivation. Somehow, despite centuries of progress, laziness continues to be the shaming and judgemental explanation for science-based behavior. Lazy is a moral judgement—not a biological reality.

You can experience genuine joy only to the degree that you understand and accept all parts of yourself. Unaddressed grief, unresolved anger, relational conflict, and unhealthy habits can all contribute to feeling stuck. Decode your brain, develop boundary-setting strategies, and regain your ability to live an authentic life. When you understand the language of stuck, you can quickly find resources.

CBT is a mind-based solution that uses the power of thoughts to change feelings. Body-based therapies use the power of feelings to change thoughts. We need both.

If you never start doing things, you can numb out by fantasizing about "someday" doing things.

Depression is often a signal point TO a problem, not the problem itself. Both anxiety and depression are efforts by your brain to protect you from harm.

There are no negative emotions. There are uncomfortable and scary emotions, but even our most unpleasant emotions have an important function... Until you believe that getting unstuck will be worth the fear of facing your emotions, you'll continue to stay stuck.

Our brains are wired for survival, not happiness. Our nervous systems are trained to conserve as much energy as possible. Staying stuck is an efficient use of resources when the goal is survival. Staying stuck is problematic when the goal is productivity. Understanding the perks of staying stuck is the first step toward change.

Instead of judging your behavior, you need to get curious about it. Curiosity is fuel for the change process. When you can observe your behaviors with curiosity, it's easier to see their benefits. Understanding the function of a behavior is the key to changing it.

Don't feel like you have to deal with everything at once. If numbing out safely helps you make it through the day, enabling you to take care of your responsibilities, you're allowed to numb. We all need a numb-out session periodically.

Many initially balk at the notion that feeling like an anxious wreck is a sign of strength. But it takes a herculean amount of strength to tolerate the feeling of anxiety–and an even greater amount of courage to listen to the message of anxiety. [It's] more convenient than ever to run from the quiet inner voice of truth. It is not a sign of strength to be numb. It is not a sign of weakness to feel emotional pain.

We need to ask not what is wrong with anxiety but what is right about it... Anxiety does not need to be "fixed" – it needs to be understood.

Anxiety is not intended to hurt you but to help you if you're unsafe or veering away from authenticity. Limping after you twist your ankle isn't a disease – the pain is a signal that an injury needs attention. Instead of viewing anxiety as a disease, look at it as a signal; this is a more effective framework for getting unstuck.

Trying to "get rid of" anxiety is as counterproductive as trying to disable the check-engine light on your car

"If you feel guilty because 'other people have it worse,' remember – perspective is helpful, but comparison is not."