Status Updates From My Heart Is an Idiot: Essays

the tarantula story was truly wild and maybe not the best read for me tn. but still i enjoy these stories

this man is kinda crazy but i get him

maybe i’m crazy for thinking he should have dumped his piss on lon’s head but he should have thrown it at him. he scammed people!!!! and now he’s only going to read their books!?! as if he’ll actually do it!! booooo tomato tomato!!!

human snowman was actually a very fun read

“I wanted so badly to be a good boyfriend, not just good but faithful; at the same time, I wanted to live, and this, I felt — buzzed, downing a beer in the woods somewhere, pelted by falling acorns and pine cones, my loose dick tingling, thinking on the past, and hating myself a little but not too, too much, while owls hooted in the night—this, I felt, was living.”

Laugh out loud hilarious