Status Updates From Grief Is for People

“I’d spent no small amount of time, in the months after Russel died, daydreaming about how luxurious it would be to prepare for loss. Turns out the prepared version is not so hot. Perhaps this is the plainest definition of anxiety, mourning what isn’t gone yet. Anxiety is an ever present stage of grief, a shadow attached to the heels of its more infamous siblings.”

“For those precious weeks when he was still around but the jewelry was gone, I wanted it back because it was mine. But once they were both gone, I wanted it back because it was him. Because I could no longer picture it without picturing the times he held it, without associating it with his approval.”