Status Updates From The Enhanced Chronicles: Dr...
The Enhanced Chronicles: Dream Miner (Volume 1) by
Status Updates Showing 1-4 of 4
Matthew
is on page 7 of 322
Verity didn't flinch. She dropped. Ummm... didn't flinch implies usually that one didn't move.
— Jan 30, 2013 07:04PM
Add a comment
Matthew
is starting
Beginning of the second paragraph, and "it had already fallen dark." I almost stopped reading there. And then I kept reading the first page and it got worse. My count is that the tense changes between present and past 5 times on the page, the corrupt bureaucracy is a who, a person, and the oppressive heat was as constant as the crimes committed.
— Jan 30, 2013 06:52PM
Add a comment
Matthew
is starting
Beginning of the second paragraph, and "it had already fallen dark." I almost stopped reading there.
— Jan 30, 2013 06:39PM
Add a comment
