Status Updates From Portnoys Beschwerden.

“Do you know what I read in Cosmopolitan?” says my mother to my father. “That there are women who are homosexual persons.” “Come on,” grumbles Poppa Bear, “what kind of garbage is that, what kind of crap is that-?” “Jack, please. I’m not making it up. I read it in Cosmo! I’ll show you the article!” “Come on, they print that stuff for the circulation."

“I am the Raskolnikov of Jerking Off” is the best thing I’ve read all year