Status Updates From Spearcrest Saints (Spearcre...

She laughs, and I kiss her laughing mouth, and my heart is full of that perfect, luminous sound—the sound of Theodora Dorokhova laughing.

BABIES😭😭😭😭 one of the best books i’ve ever read, 10/10 recommend. the mmc is SUCH a sweetheart and so in love with her and its so refreshing to see him love her the way he should.

“Listen to me, Theodora Dorokhova, and listen well. You are not difficult to love—you have never been difficult to love. Whatever happened in your life to make you believe you might be is a tragedy and a betrayal, a crime against truth. Whoever told you or made you believe you’re difficult to love is a liar. You’re not difficult to love.“

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍

“You’re not lost, Theodora. I’ve found you. I’ve finally found you. And I’ll never lose you again.”

😭😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍

I’ll wait for your forgiveness as long as you need me to, and if you never forgive me, I’ll live a servant to your hatred. You can punish me every day of my life, Theodora, if you wish to. But you don’t get to hate me from afar. My love is as valid as your hatred. You get to land a thousand blows on me, and I get to return each blow with a caress. So don’t hate me from afar, Theo. Hate me from up close.

“Angry? At me? You?”

“Me—yes, me. Angry at you, yes. You, Theodora Dorokhova, cruel goddess that you are. Do you know the fucking pain you’ve put me through?”

I grab his jaw in my hand. “And what about the pain you put me through?”

“I’d cut my own hand off before I ever used it to hurt you.”

☹️☹️☹️

“I cut it myself. How does it look?”

“It’s your hair, Theodora. How could it be anything but beautiful?” And then I do what saints do when they see their angels. I fall to my knees at her feet and weep.

im bawling😭😭😭😭😭😭

“You’re a creature of love, Theodora, and I want nothing more than to give you that love forever, for as long as we live.”

😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥹

“You’re mine?” she asks, wrapping her arms around my neck, tenderness blossoming in her forget-me-not eyes.
“Yes, my darling adversary. I’m yours. For now and forever.”
“Promise?”
“I swear it.”
🥹🥹🥹

them being each other’s firsts means so much to me😭😭 first crush, first kiss, first time. it’s so precious

“I wish I existed in this world as the version of me that exists in your mind,” I tell him.“

“You would,” he says, voice full of tenderness, “if only you saw yourself as I see you.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭

“And as for the value I give her, it’s immeasurable. She is worth dying for, living for. Killing for, probably, or at least poisoning for. She is worth every academic failure, every restless night, all the suffering and yearning and hopelessness. She isn’t worth everything. She is everything.”

“Beauty for me is a girl with cold skin and a faraway gaze, a girl who loves children’s books but rarely laughs. Beauty for me is sage-green silk and soft white wool and forget-me-not eyes. My definition of beauty starts and ends with Theodora.”

“Touch her again and I’ll make sure the rest of your life is short and painful.”

HEHE

“I’d give you anything you’d ask for. If your love demanded my prostration, I’d get on my knees for you, I’d kiss the ground at your feet. I’d do everything you’ve ever thought about in those secret midnight moments and everything you’ve never even dared to imagine. I’d melt all that ice in your skin, Theodora Dorokhova, and replace it with flames.”

"My beautiful nemesis. My formidable adversary. My dearest rival." ✨✨

“I know you better than I know my own soul. I know every expression on your face like they are the lines of my favourite poems. Everything you think you keep hidden from the world, you can never quite hide from me. The beautiful things—your determination, your strength, your gentle soul—but the ugly things, too. Your ambition, your pain, your fear. Your desire. They’re naked to my eyes.”

“You don’t love me,” she hastens to say as if hoping to do some damage control—as if the idea of me loving her is damage that needs to be controlled.

“No,” I answer without shame. The balance of calm and emotion has tipped now. I’m as calm as a sea after a storm; her eyes are wide with panic. “I absolutely, undeniably, inexorably love you.”

omg😭😭 a man who’s shamelessly in love

“I love you atrociously.” He smiles, the hue of desire in his expression shifting, darkening into a sort of yearning melancholy. “I love you with every atom of my being, and I love every atom of yours. I love you desperately, like a starving man. I love you to distraction. And I think maybe you love me too, Theodora Dorokhova. You just aren’t quite ready to say it yet.”

my heart🥹🥹

“It’s not wasted at all,” he says instead, with that easy Blackwood confidence. “I could spend a fortune of flirtation on you, Theodora, and it would still not be a waste. I could lay treasures of compliments and tenderness at your feet like offerings to a cruel goddess, and you could ignore them all, and I would never once regret any of it.”

HES SO😭😭😭

“For the first time, we won’t have to see our names next to each other’s at the top of the boards.”

“What a shame,” he murmurs. “It was a bittersweet sight, but I’ve always thought our names look good next to each other’s.”

🥹🥹

“And what if you can never have her?” It’s a good question—one I’ve thought of often, alone at night in my bed, hard and tense with frustration and desire and despair.“

“Then life is going to hurt like a bitch.”

he’s gonna wait for her😭😭

“I’m not setting my sights on anyone. Theodora is the only one worthy of my desire. I couldn’t set my sights on anybody else if I tried. She and I are fated somehow. Anything else would be doomed by principle.”

🥹🥹💖

“Is having no girlfriend a social construct, too, then?”

“I don’t need a girlfriend,” I tell her in my most dignified tone. “I have a beautiful rival instead.”

AAW🥹🥹 he’s crushing so hard

he spent the entire night annotating peter pan because its her favorite book😭😭🥹

“My beautiful nemesis. My formidable adversary. My dearest rival.”

fuck i love them