Status Updates From Penguins Stopped Play by Ha...

Reading this book for a second time. I have discovered a new genre of books I enjoy: books about cricket.

‘Curiously, Ponce named the country San Juan and the city Puerto Rico (‘Rich Port'), the two names being mysteriously switched by some unknown scallywag at a later date. American troops pinched the lot from the Spanish in 1898, presumably on the grounds that they were hiding cannons of mass destruction.’

Laughed so loud at this in public, people looked at me

‘First up is the Malaysian armed forces.’
‘Phew. Sounds tough. And after that?’
'On the Tuesday we've got Malaysia.'
'Malaysia what? Malaysia juniors? The Malaysian
Blind Cricket Association?’
'Er, no ... Malaysia'
'Malaysia?’
"Er, yeah. The country.'
‘Jesus Christ, Sean. We're a village team.'
‘They're not as strong on a Tuesday. And they've got a really nice pitch.’
Oh God.

‘We've heard the team has just been on two great overseas trips,’ they said.
‘Well... they started well enough,’ I ventured guardedly. ‘They sort of ... all went wrong though, in the second week.'
'Then we'll only go for a single week.'
Cunning.

‘Anuj, being a proper bowler (he'd once been the Delhi University equivalent of a blue, before unwisely eating several thousand doughnuts)’

‘As we reached the edge of the square, another pitch invader, a small elderly black man in a nautical-looking peaked cap and neat tie, launched himself wildly into my arms. As we whirled in giddy celebration, me holding him clear of the ground like a small boy, I caught my first glimpse of his face. It was Archbishop Desmond Tutu.’

‘We simply rode the wave of euphoria while it lasted, relishing the collision of a moment of enormous historical significance with a dirty-great party. I'd been there when the Brandenburg Gate had opened and the Berlin Wall was starting to look like a Swiss cheese, and the atmosphere had been nothing like this.’

‘I stress, at the time. Reading this (if you haven't already tossed the book aside in disbelief), you're probably feeling like a parent confronted by a small boy who's admitting that, yes, he knows he was told not to put the cat in the tumble-dryer, but he thought it could still do with fluffing up a bit.’