Status Updates From Cuckoo in the Nest: 28, Bac...

On visiting mum's work, a Catholic primary school, at Easter time: 'The thing about Jesus,' I confided in a stray 4-year-old, 'is only a head shot will take him out. That was the Romans' mistake.' He ran off sobbing, to spread the Good Word.

I found a grey hair. I was contemplating it grimly one afternoon while downstairs mum yelled ( more to herself than in search of a response) : "I'll never know how you manage to get avocado so many places in the sink. Is it a natural talent or have you been practising?"

Laughing all the way. "Why do you always fill your bowl up so high? You know your dad and I hate that." The implications of that were mind-boggling--had they actually had a conversation about this. ......" Ooo,ooo, I've just thought of another thing our first-born does wrong, "