Status Updates From The White Hotel

oh no

what a strange book

'When the Germans wished to bury their massacres the bulldozers did
not find it easy to separate the bodies: The bottom layers had to be dynamited, and sometimes axes had to be used.These lower strata were, with few exceptions, naked; but further up they
were in their underwear, and higher still they were fully dressed: like the
different formations of rocks.The Jews were at the bottom, then
Ukrainians, gypsies,etc'

''The soul of man is a far country, which cannot be approached or
explored. Most of the dead were poor and illiterate. But every single one of
them had dreamed dreams, seen visions and had amazing experiences, even
the babes in arms (perhaps especially the babes in arms). Though most of
them had never lived outside the Podol slum, their lives and histories were
as rich and complex as Lisa Erdman-Berenstein’s. ''

''The women were trying to cover their breasts too with their arms. It was terrible and strange to see them concerned for their
modesty, while they were being taken away to be shot.''

''Some became old in minutes.
When Lisa’s gift or curse of second sight had failed her so miserably and
her husband was snatched away in the dark, her hair had gone grey
overnight—the old saying was true. But now she saw it happen in front of
her eyes. In the next group but one after theirs she saw Sonia; and her raven
hair turned grey in the time it took for her to be stripped and sent away to be
shot. ''

I like the idea of clarification. “More light! More
light!” More light—and more love.

I call to mind a saying of Heraclitus: “The soul of man is a far
country, which cannot be approached or explored.” It is not altogether true,
I think, but success must depend on a fair harbour opening in the cliffs.

And lastly, yes it is
possible there may be a slight bisexual component in my make-up, but
nothing specifically sexual, or at least nothing I haven’t been able to cope
with very easily. On the whole I feel my life has been more bearable by
reason of my closeness to women

But you
see, I was living a lie. He said he loved me, but if he had known I had
Jewish blood he would have hated me. Whenever he said “I love you” I
understood it as “I hate you.”

I told her I thought she was cured of everything but life, so to speak.
She did not dispute this. She took away with her a reasonable prospect of
survival, in an existence that would doubtless never be less than difficult,
and might often be solitary.