Status Updates From Firefly

Dammit Piers, why do you write so bad? At 18 I was exposed to you by a cute girl I wanted to impress, so I read BLUE ADEPT and after suffering through it for 2 weeks, the girl laughed at me because it is "a 2 day read, tops."
Now, instead of a cute girl I have the Good Reads community telling me that this book is SO DIRTY, SO TABOO! Well, guess what. It is like BLUE ADEPT -- long and boring -- with almost no sex!