Status Updates From Dear Broken Soul, Return Ho...

Yes, Sabr requires learning and re-learning. The way you practised Sabr 10 years ago, when you were a little girl getting hurt by a friend in school, will look so different from the kind of Sabr you need today.

"Patience is not sitting and waiting, it is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full." - Rumi
Patience is not to feel defeated. Patience is to slowly and gradually accept the heaviness that pain brings, but to also have that ounce of certainty in your heart that you are going to make it.

Sabr is mentioned a number of times in the Quran, a highly recommended trait in Islam; but still, Muslims these days have a difficult relationship with Sabr.

These three ayah are evidence that Allah SWT has made a promise that hardships will come. In ayah 155 of Surah Al-Baqarah, Allah SWT mentioned that we will all be tested in different forms of balaa'. The word balaa' here means tests and trials. God has even given us examples on the types of test and trial that He will examine us with fear, hunger, and loss.

So even when I have memorised the entire surah of Al-Baqarah and I'm aware of this beautiful ayah, there will be moments where my weak human self will surface.
Allah's promise to all pf us in Surah Al-Baqarah ayah number 155 till 157:
"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings (send good news) to those who are patient."

However, sometimes, our mind and heart are not able to accept the news. We know Allah SWT would never wish any harm or hurt upon us, but sometimes our weak human selves are not able to walk through life's challenges.
This also means, our faith in God's written plans goes up and down. Sometimes we are full of Tawakkul but sometimes we are desperately deprived of it.

A reminder that even though interally I could be so broken, there are still so many more good things in my life that are going just fine. The problems I am confronted with are so little compared to the many greatness that still very much exist in my life.
There are problems in life.
But there is goodness too.
Well the truth is, we have our faith. We have Islam, we have God, we have our trust in God and HIS plans.

I was able to greet and say "Assalamualaikum" to the ones who kissed my hand and hugged me. I was all right.

Random strangers were giving out sweets and arabic candies to me.
But this time, my confusion wasn't accompanied by anger and frustation. My confusion wasn't about why Allah SWT chose to give me hardships when He could give me something much better. My confusion wasn't about hoping for Allah SWT to replace my hard days with the good days.
I looked around, I was able to smile at those who smiled at me.

When I was in Masjid Nabawi in Madinah back when I was doing my umrah.
I was sitting on the beautiful green carpeted area of Masjid Nabawi and I was looking around at the thousands of people around me who were doing their own ibadah and prayers.
The sound of Quran recitations, the soft yet rough texture of the green carpeted sejadah beneath my feet felt comfortable.

If you are thinking of tearing yourself down, I urge you to give yourself a chance to be heard differently, to be heard compassionately.

Because we do not have a strong relationship with ourselves and our emotions first, not only does it become easy to blame ourselves, we will eventually grow to hate who we become.
Which is why enough is enough.
If you know you have doubts about yourself, enough with the damaging thoughts.
If you are thinking you are not deserving of good things in life, enough with the destructive thoughts.

Whether or not emotions are used as expression, judgment, evaluation or for our development, what is clear by now, is the need to develop a healthy relationship with our emotions and to understand that our feelings are crucial to shaping our being.

If our feelings and emotions are inviting us to look back at the experiences, why do we end up blaming ourselves? Why does looking into or attending to the way we feel often make us feel bad?

is the way we feel actually an invitation to relook at our relationship with our Creator? Are feelings and emotions our bridge to our fitrah as Muslims?
Are our feelings opening up doors of exploration towards finding who we are, what we are doing and who we are connecting with, are we centering our lives appropriately?

Pain is a wave of emotions, you're not meant to stop the boat.

Break the brokenness from breaking us further

We will grow as we go. It is not going to be a smooth sailing ride, but I promise you, you will not be alone on this journey.
Together, we will grow as we go.

be brave in facing what life brings to you.

Not forgetting those whom have issues with, those whom we have caused hurt and those who have hurt us.

We have to think about our work and careers, about how our future and our families depend on the hard-earned money we work for every day. We have to think about the people around us, our relationships, our spouses, and our partners. Some of us have to take care of our parents and children, while some of us have to deal with colleagues and friends in our circles.

:)

cedih

udoh sedih

:((