Status Updates From Of Poseidon (The Syrena Leg...

"Every muscle in his body seems to team up against him and spasm. He can’t stop it from coming. Lurching off the table, he barely makes it to the sink before the vomit explodes everywhere. The drain can’t handle the volume, even with the water running full blast. Of course, the unidentifiable chunks from lunch don’t help either."

bro just realised his 300 y/o immortal lifespan isnt the same as human emma lol

uh oh here we go, where everyone and their dog thinks the sun just shines out of emmas asshole. just a single smile is enough to make anyone's heart race.

my goodness, just her breathing is enough to make galen lose his heads (both of them lol). and her sassy quips are starting to grate on me. she's giving mary sue anime oc insert with white hair and purple eyes LMAO

“The generals are dead, Emma. They didn’t pick you."

yeah stop being such a pick me EMMA.

"The way he whispers my name sends goose bumps all the way to my baby toes."

girl what

'my overprotective mom thinks you're so hot and sexy that she thinks her teen daughter should totally sleep with and make out with him and is shocked that i haven't yet and is so insistent about us making out that we have to pretend we're dating and kiss in front of her to get her off our backs.'

how. does that. make any sense? and they can't stop blushing about the idea either. YOU MET A WEEK AGO BITCH.

additionally, the writing trying to find ANY EXCUSE POSSIBLE to stick in an awkward innuendo so they can start blushing at the thought of being intimate with each other is overdone and something i used to do in my stories when i was 12 YEARS OLD.

"“Maybe you and I could do an exchange,” I say, cringing at how many different ways that could sound."

how the fuck does that lead to an innuendo?

the constant blushing is a little annoying like her cheeks and neck and lips are always red even though shes albino its a bit ridiculous. also the whole 'soulmate' thing being an excuse for insta-love and the guy having no other personality trait other than being 'chiselled like a greek god' is boring, lazy, and sloppy. abs are not a replacement for chemistry.