Status Updates From This Little Ziggy: Martin N...

Mums and Dads: be nice to be little geniuses you spawned. Little geniuses: be nice to your mums and dads. They go through a very difficult stage when you're a teenager

And Eastern England shall know us by the rumble of our Transit van..

The twentieth Summer begins and, after a final traumatic scrape with the law, Martin is no longer a teenage drug fiend, and instead is the luckiest bloke in the world

Joining a band to get drug-free. It's a strange and wonderful world.

So remember kids: don't fuck with Norse mythology. And don't do drugs.

The amount of drug-taking that I was doing was bound to have a payback sometime. Given that most pharmaceuticals are like an overdraft on one's own health and happiness - an overdraft paid back at a high rate of interest - I was bound to come a cropper.

A virgin no more

A brief spell working on a farm.

Beaten up - badly.

Getcher 'air cut you bleedin' poof

A very unusual army upbringing. A very enjoyable read though.