Status Updates From Toxic Parents: Overcoming T...

> Becoming a true adult is not a linear process. It will take you
upward, downward, forward, backward, and inside out. Expect to
falter; expect to make mistakes. You will never be totally free of
anxiety, fear, guilt, and confusion. No one is. But these demons will
no longer control you. That is the key.

> Your response: “Just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean it
didn’t happen.”
> “You can keep trying to make this my fault, but I’m
not going to accept the responsibility for what you did to me when I
was a child.”
> “I appreciate your apology, but that’s just a
beginning. If you’re truly sorry, you’ll be available to me when I
need you and you’ll work through this with me to make a better
relationship.”

oh lord its the shitty confrontation part...confronting your parents is not gonna fix anything help it can just make things worse and it wont fix anything. also they'll probably deny it and itll go nowhere this is like. worse than useless advice

good few pages here to return to later

> You probably deal with your anger in one of several ways: you
may bury your anger and become sick or depressed; you may divert
your anger into suering and martyrdom; you may deaden it with
alcohol, drugs, food, or sex; or you may blow up at every
opportunity, letting your anger turn you into a tense, frustrated,
suspicious, belligerent person.

> When you repress your anger, you may become depressed or
abrasive and other people may reject you as surely as they would if
you were openly angry at them. Repressed anger is unpredictable—
it can explode at any time. When it does, it is often uncontrollable.
Anger is always destructive unless it is managed, especially if it has
been allowed to fester beneath your conscious awareness.

> The things we’re afraid will happen if we get angry are the
very things that have a good chance of happening if we don’t!