Status Updates From Rontel

“Definition: Shithead shot dead on the street, found with receipt from a four dollar and fifty-three cents purchase at a gas station in his pocket.
Sometimes I'd be walking down the street and get a sense that it was about to happen.
That it was my day.
That the universe had arranged itself perfectly around this very day, for me to get shot.”

“Her roommate had accused me--to my girlfriend of eating her food.
Which was untrue.
But then because of how hurt I was by the accusation, I started eating her food.
Yes.
Haha fuck off.
I smiled to myself and stared forward, nodding.”