Status Updates From Spider-Man: The Gathering o...

Spoiler alert (if a weak sort): oh goodie, the once-a-decade killing of Spider-Man by Green Goblin. Yawn.

I keep waiting for it to be revealed that Osborn didn’t get Power from the mystical device, but Madness - and that everything since that moment in this event has been Osborn’s fantasy of how things should’ve worked out for him.

OMG this is hilarious. Spidey firmly confirms that the woman Osborn had imprisoned is actually his months-dead Aunt May, and Reed immediately informs Spidey that she has some irretrievable device in her brain that will kill her very soon.

I am so glad for the modern era of Spidey where Aunt May isn’t perennially on the brink of death. This one is like a parody of all that’s come before.

Wait, so Osborn senior was reborn and Harry Osborn is dead? For how long? By whose hand? Skipping over the entirety of the 90’s has left me with so many gaps in my supreme knowledge of Spider-Man

Wait, all this talk of May being alive - did MJ and Peter name their daughter May? Is Aunt May dead in this timeline? Did Osborn kidnap the elder or newborn May? So many Questions!

Kinda intrigued by the repeated mentions of MJ’s kid, in such hushed and sombre tones. Did she miscarry? Did the baby get born and then die? Was it abducted by aliens, then given up in exchange for galactic peace? (Like that isn’t a story at least once in Marvel’s history)

Norman Osborn co-owns the Bugle in this timeline? That’s almost as nuts as Mayor Kingpin in recent comics.

I’m sorry, how is Joe Robertson (a) explaining and (b) funding international excursions to find Spidey rogues, as the editor of a terrible newspaper?

Norman trucking with evil supernatural artefacts

MJ studying psychology?

Well at least Peter’s still snapping photos for the DB.