Status Updates From Running from Romeo (Romeo, #1)

Raging right now. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK? Using rape for shock entertainment? For shock value? On the last page simply to have a fucking cliffhanger? I've read a lot of crappy NA, but this might take the prize. What the fuck was the author thinking writing that?

THE DRIVER'S NAME IS STAN.

Okay, I was wrong, this is not NA, this is a parody. Of what, I'm not quite sure though.

WHY NOT JUST CHANGE THE TITLE TO FSoG; the fanfic.

“Emilia, first of all, no one is perfect. But if anyone is as close to perfection…that would be you.”

It's her dad telling her this, not the hero, but still. SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE.

“I suppose I’m not like most girls.”

You don't say? What a horror that would've been, right?

“Don’t knock Cosmo, I learn a lot of useful information from that magazine.”

Yeah, you probably learn a lot from a magazine that on one page demands you learn to love yourself the way you are, and on the next explaining that you need to drop those last pounds and tells you just how. Can't imagine it not being worth doubting.

“Hey, just speaking the truth.” She smiles at me. “So, the top three things for guys are sex, sex, and more sex.” She giggles.

Oh my.

I'll admit; I did enjoy the emails in FSoG a bit. They were entertaining, at least. In this book, the emails come of strange since people under 25 generally don't use email apart from school/work/business, and they make it even clearer that the mcs have no chemistry (romantically or sexually), and they are devoid of humor. Instead they take up too much space of the book.

“He better treat you right. I probably shouldn’t say this but you know he has quite the reputation?” He says, antagonistically.

The list of adverbs authors should never use has a new addition: antagonistically.

There really is not much to say about this. A cheap knockoff FSoG, the YA/NA version. Downright bad writing, major issues with pacing, lack of coherent plot, no character development, slutshaming, no sensitivity in regards to heavy topics (sexual abuse and mental illness).

You know, I didn't care much for FSoG, imo that book is a disgrace to literature, but still, ripping it off completely is nevertheless wrong.

Alright, so she shared her deep dark past with the boy she's been dating for a month(ish), and three seconds later they go to sleep?

Authors, please take at least two seconds to think about what you write. This is insensitive, unrealistic, downright harmful of the portrayal of this kind of abuse.

Well, fuck this book. It's easy to guess Emilia's deep dark past simply by the genre, but that's not the problem. Will most likely be a ranty review about how not to bring up certain topics and how to fucking handle them with sensitivity, not to mention realism.
Also, minus three hundred points for copying from FSoG (even more).

“Take it slow, sweetie. You’ve had more than enough hurt in one lifetime."

Everyone is saying how much hurt there has been in Emilia's life, yet there is nearly no foreshadowing to what it might be, and it's rarely mentioned, and she rarely thinks about it apart from some nightmares that are vague (no foreshadowing). Poor writing, simply put.

You know, when you first told me that you hadn’t had sex before I couldn’t figure out how someone as gorgeous as you could have avoided it.

At first, it was funny how the NA genre was basically a long list of copycats of a few selected books, but now it's just sad.

It's telling that the author feels the need to spell out each time the MCs kiss, they do it passionately". Then again, otherwise I'd imagined them kissing awkwardly, seeing how there is no chemistry between the MCs.

He’s not only drop dead gorgeous but obscenely rich. He’s a keeper, Emilia.

You know, these are probably some of the lower priorities on my list when looking for a partner. They'd be nice, but they're not top priorities. This book makes it seem it's a woman's mission in life to find a man with these qualities, without checking what else there might be to his person.

I never thought I'd say these words, but this is the cheaper, vanilla fanfic version of Fifty Shades. The writing, dare I say it, might even be worse than FSoG. Or at least as bad.