Status Updates From The Wit & Wisdom of Tyrion ...

“If there are gods to listen, they are monstrous gods, who torment us for their sport. Who else would make a world like this, so full of bondage, blood, and pain?”

“Light our fire and protect us from the dark, blah blah, light our way and keep us toasty warm, the night is dark and full of terrors, save us from the scary things, and blah blah blah some more…”

“Trust no one. And keep your dragons close”

“This is the way of war. The small folk are slaughtered, while highborn are held to ransom. Remind me to thank the gods that I was born a Lannister.”

“Knights know only one way to solve a problem. They couch their lance and charge. A dwarf has a different way of looking at the world.”

“I sit a chair better than a horse, and I'd sooner hold a wine goblet than a battleaxe. All that about the thunder of the drums, sunlight flashing on armour, magnificent destriers snorting and prancing? Well, the drums gave me headaches, the sunlight flashing on my armour cooked me up like a harvest day goose, and those magnificent destriers shit everywhere.”