Status Updates From Rosencrantz and Guildenster...

Between "just desserts' and "tragic irony" we are given quite a lot of scope for our particular talent.  Generally speaking, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go when things have got about as bad as they reasonably get.

ROS leaps up and bellows at the audience.
ROS: Fire!
GUIL jumps up.
GUIL: Where?
ROS: It's all right - I'm demonstrating the misuse of free speech. To prove that it exists.

PLAYER: It costs little to watch, and little more if you happen to get caught up in the action, if that's your taste and times being what they are.
ROS: What are they?
PLAYER: Indifferent.
ROS: Bad?
PLAYER: Wicked.

True that

you had money in both hands / yes / every time? / yes / what’s the point of that? / i wanted to make you happy
IN TEARS!!!!!!

you’ve got it all wrong … you can’t act death !!!! oh MAN this play