Status Updates From 8-Bit Apocalypse

Still very strange, but the intelligence of the piece is starting to creep out. Billings knows her stuff when it comes to video games, that's for sure.

they had concluded that the game E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial would likely not have been incorporated into the mutant cartridge because that game is just so awful that the mega-cartridge would self-destruct...

Jimmie cannot even maintain a non-sexual erection given the circumstances.

That's what I thought.

Fox news anchors are being typical Fox news anchors (i.e. stupid whores who have nothing to say but do look pretty). R2-D2 also showed up. All I have to say to Twin Galaxies is, 'Where's your Billy Mitchell now?'

Frogger is now coming to life and it's all because of those old ET cartridges which were buried in a toxic waste dump. Jimmy's father only loves him when he's winning. People are talking and taking pictures of the giant Atari and posting on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and then dying and...

Centipede is a chick's game. She explained why in here pretty well. It's made by a woman, so it's supposed to be complicated like expressing emotions other than rage and all that. I get it.

Shut just got real! There's a giant Atari cartridge and it's crushing dogs and pigeons and shaking the ground and people are kind of screaming but also taking pictures of the whole thing with their phones!!!!