Status Updates From The Twible: All the Chapter...

My pastors are credited in the acknowledgments! I expected nothing less. My pastors are pretty awesome. And so is this book.

Here's the authors Who's Who in the book. This is a guide to the cast of characters whose names were abbreviated in the tweets

Here starts the 'notes' section, our as the author calls it:

"Notes: or, where to find with all the smart people said"

This will be infinitely helpful when adding Books to my to-read list

Great explanation of Paul and "Paul". Author breaks down which letters we know for sure were written by Paul, which were possibly written by Paul, which letters were probably not by Paul, and which ones were definitely not written by Paul. Explained in an easy to understand and succinct way

First Corinthians chapter 13 summary:

"Love is patient and kind. It does not get annoyed or impatient that this chapter is read at Every. Single. Wedding. Love bears all."

Summary of acts chapter 10:

"During noon prayers, Pete has a trippy vision of unclean animals now becoming kosher. That's good news for Christian; bacon is tasty."

Perhaps my favorite tweet of the entire Bible

About Jesus returning home & preaching about Elijah healing a widow & Elisha healing a leper:

"Jesus' religious contemporaries in the first century were expecting much more justice than this. After everything they had suffered under centuries of political oppressors, they wanted a Messiah who would kick those oppressors the hell out of their land, not add more leaves to the table and invite the jerks to dinner."

I'm adding tons of books to my to-read list because of the titles the author mentions in the numerous sidebars that accompany her tweets

Summary Mark chapter 7:

"After missing the point yet again, the 12 receive a set of "I'm with stupid" T-shirts. They're just dumb enough to be excited."

Summary Mark chapter 4:

"VBS parables: The kingdom of God is like a mustard seed. No, kids, nevermind that mustard tastes icky. That's really not the point."

Mark chapter 3 summary:

"A house divided against itself cannot stand. Say, for example, one person roots for Michigan and another for Ohio State. Hypothetically."

The authors summary of Matthew:

"Just in case you missed it, JESUS IS THE MESSIAH OF THE JEWS. And Christ, it's about time he showed up."

Summary of the fourth chapter of Malachi:

"The OT ends, ushering in 400 years of silence because G is busy having brain surgery to change his violent personality for the NT."

Summary of Isaiah chapter 29: "G: because you pay me lipservice while your hearts are far from me, I'll give your wii to the Syrians and put you in a long time out."

"It's worth noting that even though Jesus was not actually abandoned by God, he felt that way at the time, and the words he chose to express that isolation were ones that had been consecrated by centuries of prayer."

The author makes a really interesting point about the Psalms and people asking why bad things happen to good people and where God is in that. Really great points

"however, it's highly unlikely that David wrote every psam that is attributed to him. After all, he was a busy king with Philistines to slaughter.

I'm finding a lot of books that the author mentions that I also want to read. I am constantly adding to my TBR list while reading this book

Overview of Esther: "thrilling novel about a Fifth Column in the Persian court. One of two books in Bible not to mention G, who's off stage w/ cue cards."

2 Chronicles: King Jehoram kills six brothers to grab the throne, but G can't ice him because of some old covenant. Gives him diarrhea though. So there.

"In sum, the moral of Chronicles is that the sun shines out of David butt. Not that we've ever seen his butt, because he never, ever danced naked before God and everybody."

1 Chronicles 11: in this utopian history, Jerusalem falls without a struggle, I'll 12 tribes instantly unite behind King David, and unicorns are real.

In addition to the tweets about each of the books and chapters in the Bible, I really like the sidebars and the additional information that the author presents about specific situations. I am learning so much and being reminded of so much that I have forgotten.

"What's interesting about 1 and 2 Samuel is that the books preserve these kings in all their complexity, allowing us to see the good, the bad, and ugly. Even though the kings of the united monarchy weren't perfect, they were darn sight better than many of the kings that came after Israel split in half..."

Summary of Samuel chapter 4: Israel routed by philistines! Ark captured. (That's like when someone steals your college mascot, except that folks also tend to die.)

1 Samuel summary: Israel: "No more horrible, gory judges! Puh-LEEZE can we have a king now?" Saul is beta version before G releases upgraded David model.

"Today, the word "shibboleth" can refer to anything that betrays a person as an outsider to those in the "in" crowd-like, for example, using the word "shibboleth" in conversation when most normal people don't know or care what it means.

Genesis 14:

Phar pursues Israel across Red Sea while monologuing. Then G drowns Egyptians, because not enough people have died yet in exodus.

The author just describe Joseph as "smarmy". Very solid vocabulary. Joseph totally was smarmy

Also I want to read this alongside my actual Bible, which is the King James version because it is the prettiest sounding one even though it is not exactly accurate