Status Updates From Flabbergasted

"Grace isn't date stamped like that carton of milk in my poem. Even if it were, the stamp would say eternal ... and the gracer needs to be sure and pour a glass, so that when needed, the gracee can have a swallow."
Yall, this book has so many good quotes!!

"You shouldn't have offered to send reward money."
"And why not?"
"Because you never have to pay for grace."

"Is this a message for God?" I asked, backpedaling to follow along.
"Nope. I just enjoy writing poems in the sand."
"I bet he reads it anyway."

"What'd you do to your hand?"
"Me and an old guy named Asbury rubbed a shark on the head. He bit me."
"Asbury bit you?"
"No, Stanley, the shark."
😂🤣

"Son, yall drive worse than the pagans." 😂