Status Updates From The Autobiography of Benjam...

A self help book now it appears! Agnostic costumes to strive for

What drama! Actually really enjoying. He has warned us that the tone is about to shift to being for the public, rather than family, so I’m worried it’s not going to be as fun. He was taking some mad shit about his friends (politely)

Most of this is just BF talking at length about the ingenious people he has met and then the fights they got into

BF thinks if he had thought to open a SWIMMING SCHOOL in London he would have never returned to America. WHAT

This king is always lending his “friends” money and being shocked they don’t pay it back. Really just lived on trust. Reminds me of my classics prof in how everything just seems to work out even when the craziest shit happens to him and it’s also like 90% his fault

Yall! Next paragraph after he’s like yeah so I quit vegetarianism, he’s tricking his boss into becoming a vegetarian! He’s a freak!

Big update! No longer a vegetarian bc cod eat other fish and he was like wait a sec… if you eat each other why can’t I eat you (also he was hungry and the fish smelled good, which seems to be the actual motivator). Did give this banger though: “So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.”

Collins has left us 💔 he’s addicted to brandy and gambling and off to Barbados after stealing BF’s money. Being roommates really does ruin friendships lmfao

BF calls himself “saucy and provoking”. He also sounds like a little shit. He has made it to Philly and pissed off his brother, and he’s bestie boos with Collins, the dude he argued about women’s education with. Great times

Dude is out here going vegetarian and arguing for women’s right to education just to be contrary. Pop off I guess king

Vibe change