Status Updates From Modern Friendship: How to N...

woah this chapter spoke to me😭

"there was one class where students got really close+hung out outside of class, while the other class didn't. She wondered what the differences were.... 'I figured out that one class had an igniter, which was one person who was willing to ask everyone in the class, "Does anyone want to go to lunch after class?" And bc [of] that... 10 other people had more friends, even though they didn't really have to do anything.'"

"1 of his friends told the all-male group: 'I don't want to put effort into our friendships bc I have to put effort into my family. I have to make an effort at work, w my wife, w my inlaws. When I hang out w you guys, I want to put in zero effort.'

'I get it...when you hang out w us, you just want to do nothing. You don't want to have to care about 'did that joke upset someone?' But you don't get to turn off life.'"

“it’s wiser, more realistic and more mature to approach your friendships with the goal of accepting people and friendships as the are instead of trying to force closeness or resolution”

such a hard truth i needed to hear😮‍💨