Status Updates From Still Alive

I resent that anyone could believe, so utterly, that I had brought this mess on myself by not going gently into a good marriage, to a good man, in a good place, whatever good is.

I have always been good at lying because the lies I tell are goals I haven’t committed to.

I am more a vampire of sensation than I am a lover or friend

I was a Gresham self medicating my depression by plunging my hands deep in the community garden, volunteering for a seniors group to keep away the dread of my completely opaque future. I wanted to be wrinkled and in a wheelchair with the bulk of my decisions behind me

I had never known how purely love could infuse the background of an unremarkable life with glory

Our purposelessness has the same calm, the same readiness for interruption

I tell myself that life is long and I have to be ok with waiting