Status Updates From Get in My Swamp (Get in My ...

operation pussy-trap...enough said

Shrek: “I’d like to keep her as my prisoner. I need help with household chores.”
Some other guy: “Alright, the human woman will live as your slave.”
Shrek: “Slave? I don’t like the sound of that.”

Bitch, what do you think slavery means?? Are you planning on paying her??

“Luckily almost everyone who’s disappeared in this swamp is a homeless junkie no one cares about.”

I’m sorry, I’m supposed think this dude is hot? Call me crazy, but I don’t find eating homeless people hot??

Patrick Bateman ass shit.

I am embarrassed to say I *just* realized this was a shrek fanfic lmao