Status Updates From S.: A Novel about the Balkans

‘…. it is estimated that somewhere between 25,000 and 60,000 Muslim and Croatian women were raped during the Bosnian war…’

It has been replaced by something else as if a robot has taken control of your body, making it move and react in her stead again it is happening to someone else and to her at the same time.

Suddenly, her body feels so heavy that she can hardly budge. Her movements are sluggish and hesitant, her brain is drained. She wants to scream. To shout. But her mouth is dry, not a single word finds its way through her constricted throat she wants to run away she really would run. If only she could step away if only she had the will to do so as notices that she no longer has a will of her own.

‘Even though it is happening right next to you, you don’t believe it. And even if you do believe it, you cannot dwell on it, it would be the end of you. You believe it only if you yourself see it. Perhaps this deliberate blindness is a form of self preservation.’

‘Perhaps this is the only way to survive, by living from one moment to the next. The continuous flow of time no longer exists for her, merely isolated moments, which are impossible to weave into a meaningful whole.’