Status Updates From Sistah Samurai: A Champloo ...

"I’ve never needed glasses to behead fuckbois with a katana..."

What

"green skin, a tortoise shell, and hair slicked back in the hairstyle of a sumo wrestler.

Then it bent forward in the water, the top of the shell receding to reveal two giant blast cannons. I blinked. The demon was apparently some sort of . . . Blast tortoise? Who came up with these things?!"

What lmao

"It was funny the arc of a life: knowing fear as a child, to conquering them as a young adult, to going back around to fear in your older years and knowing that your initial assessment had always been right. Life was an endless churn of helplessness and fear that we had no control over. The only difference was that now, I have learned to swim my way through it."

"The demon bleated at me as I rubbed the moisturizer onto its parched and cracked face. Like catnip, the demon calmed and then dispersed away in a scatter of soul light.

Then, I rubbed the moisturizer onto my face, arms, elbows, and legs. I released a pleased sigh, relieved to no longer be the demon’s ashy victim."

WHAT

"Both pieces of the demon’s corpse began to disintegrate, and the freed souls burst forth from the demon’s remains in an upward cascade of gold, fluttering through the air like a bright cloud of fireflies. All the souls that the demon had once consumed and which had kept it anchored to this world, were finally free."

Eughhh

"With the second chopstick between my fist, I punched through the man’s ear. A squelched pop. The light in his eyes burst like a shattered oil lamp."

Gross and cool