Status Updates From The Street Party Killer (DI...

"No disrespect, but for a woman to hoist him up like this?”
He gestured at Keith.
"She’d have to be pretty strong."
Bethany stared at him.
"Some women are, you know."
"I realise that, but.."

Typical dumb feminist response. Most women can't real-life 180lb, let alone bench or overhead press it. To carry 180lb dead weight up a ladder? A woman with the necessary physique for that is rare & would stick out a mile off.

I should've finished this book (and also the sixth & final instalment in this garbage-fest) but it's so bad, I had to take a break & then force myself to pick it up again today. How was I greeted upon my return? With the following sentence:

"Bethany released a fat breath."

WHO EVEN SAYS THAT?

Does she ever get obese sneezes?

Corpulent coughs?

Big boned hiccups?

Plus size burps?

EMMY ELLIS, I HATE YOU!

"It didn't make sense to commit suicide that way."

NO HUMAN BEING HAS EVER TRIED TO CHOKE THEMSELVES TO DEATH WITH 4 SANDWICHES, A SCOTCH EGG & 2 COCKTAIL SAUSAGES STUFFED UP THEIR NOSE!

"Women tended to go for pills & alcohol, or exanguination. Men often opted for hanging & asphyxia. Bethany had never heard of anyone using food as the method, although women did tend to be more creative."

CREATIVE?

SHUT UP.

"Dee Groocock"

That's the name you went with, Ellis? The fact that I find this name funny must mean that you literally have no idea what any kind of humour is; not even 13 year old boys' bathroom humour. You have been unintentionally amusing.