Status Updates From Vengeance & Sin (Vengeance ...

Quite shocked by the high ratings for such basic storytelling and info dump on who all these people are instead of showing us through genuine connections and decent dialogue. Also, grammar check - you're supposed to finish dialogue with a comma then the 'he said' could end a sentence. The 'he said' isn't a new sentence. I don't get how so many writers don't know this. Going to keep going for now.

FMC almost too much. I keep mentioning how tiny and little she is, but yet she can manage to kill anyone she wants. She’s apparently this really great fighter, but she uses sex to get everything even though she was trafficked as a child. I don’t know. I just don’t really like her.

there is almost too much description. It’s kind of like everything is being explained to a five-year-old.