Status Updates From I Wish to Say Lovely Things

In times not far from ours, people not unlike us believed that lambs grew on trees, that there were tiny demons inside cabbages, that elephants and dragons were mortal enemies, […] Were they better off not knowing? Was their experience with reality more substantial, more important, more rewarding because of the mysteries it held? Maybe we have lost something in killing our gods and monsters.

There is a power in the unclear and the ambiguous, in having something to dig for, and in not knowing. Because if everything is known? What a sad, plain life. But a life of mystery is a life of magic.

Of course we fall back on romanticism during times of conflict and uncertainty. But what if the only times we live in are those of conflict and uncertainty? When life is shit how do we live without living in shit? These are all questions not answers, but sometimes the questions we ask ourselves are the only earthly mysteries we have left to solve, and maybe that's okay.

(Happiness is fleeting like colored dye dispersing in water. Joy is something you have forever; something you can reinhabit after you're sure it's gone.)

We talk about how you must work every day with the energy of a dynamo, how the only way we'll get people to care is by working hard enough to make something people actually want, and not just want, need. Something beautiful and important people will give their hearts to and read breathlessly and see themselves in and never quit loving. We want to write something tremendous because why do anything that's not?

Ethan and I talk using definite terms- certain of the inarguable truth of what we believe. If someone doesn't do this then they are that. If so and so does this? Well, that will happen. There is no supposition or hesitancy here. Our opinions (fast and loose as they are) become facts to us. […]. Our reality is reality, and the aegis of a shared reality is comforting.

"I love people's travel stories. Anyone who doesn't want to listen to your stories is not your friend."

Jude and I are friends now-friends like how men are friends when they're still tough around each other and haven't yet learned to be tender and considerate. This is of course not the best way to be friends but it's a way, and friends in any sense is better than the inverse.

I loved you at the Casbah show we spent fifteen bucks to get into and didn't watch the bands. It was the week of your twenty first birthday and we were loud and drunk and funny. It felt as if we were the center of a solar system, the axis around which worlds spin.

I wish to say lovely things.

Today I cannot.

But I'm looking for some small thing to hold onto.

Anaphora game strong