Status Updates From Crush

But the minutes don’t stop. The prayer of going nowhere

going nowhere

I take off my hands and I give them to you but you don’t want them, so I take them back
and put then on the wrong way, the wrong wrists. The yard is dark,
the tomatoes are next to the whitewashed wall,
the book on the table is about Spain,
the windows are painted shut.

Try explaining a life bundled with episodes of this—
swallowing mud, swallowing glass, the smell of blood
on the first four knuckles.
We pull our boots on with both hands
but we can't punch ourselves awake and all I can do is stand on the curb and say Sorry
about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

We're shooting the scene where I swallow your heart and you make me spit it up again.
I swallow your heart and it crawls right out of my mouth.
You swallow my heart and flee, but I want it back now
….
Lying on the sofa with my eyes closed, I didn't want to see it this way,
everything eating everything in the end.
….
We know how the light works.
I'm sorry. We know how it works. The world is no longer mysterious.

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.

“A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left
with the river.
A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he’s still left with his hands.”

so unbelievably good