Status Updates From Januaries: Stories of Love,...

"I can't waste my time trying not to be what I am, I'm tired enough as it is."

"I'm more like a place than a thing; I have seasons of poor weather, tourist seasons, El Niño or Santa Ana winds. At my foundation I am always the same, but atmospherically there can be issues."

"At some point I had to go away for a wedding. I did not anticipate this being an issue, as I am very extroverted even if I am deeply antisocial. Unfortunately, things that seem only reasonably unpleasant to me at a surface level have a way of sneaking lethality in from somewhere deeper." 😅 I can relate to this too

I think this "A Year in January" novella is about being audhd 🫣😅

"It's one thing to feel distaste for misery on my own behalf without suffering the compulsion to soothe myself for the benefit of other people. Everyone always wants you to feel better, don't they? They can't sit comfortably in a room with your misery, it's like pins and needles for them. To be properly sad you either have to be alone or a little selfish."

"For a strange, prolonged moment I felt like crying. There are many different ways to cry and this was the worst kind: leaking. Spillover. The issue wasn't the mess, but the not understanding what I contained that was currently leaking. I prize all knowledge, but especially knowledge of myself. I dislike these sorts of tears; they indicate flaws in my management style."
Haha girl, it's ok to sit with it. But I get it

"If I read a few pages of something I'd likely drift off again, but there was no telling what state of mind I'd be in after some reading. That's the trouble with books; it's the same trouble with clothes. The issue of deciding what to wear isn't a matter of fabrics, but a question of who I'd like to be once dressed."
I feel seen.