Status Updates From Escapada

Evening. On the virginal mountain there is a glow like the blooming of heavenly hyacinth in a dark, dark field. My own warmth goes out of me with the light. I am as cold as the shadows, I am chill denial, chaos again, the unnamed thing.

Realizing that, of necessity, an ill person is unsexed, I try to wring a cold mental harmony out of life, but, instead I find myself sucked inward, my intellect smothered as by a voluptuous and nauseating rhythm. What I most long for is to be able not to desire anything, for I think of all life as gradually and eternally becoming nothing.

I realize now that deep down in everyone is an instinct of being, unaffected by the values which consciousness imposes. This being is impersonal, undefined, a mere gesture which asserts life and takes no account of obligation or consequence. I want to be saved from myself, from the terrible self from which all my secondary life proceeds, the self which goes with closed eyes toward its own end.

The love of those among whom one has been reared is usually not love at all. One can die inwardly without any of them being aware of it.

I feel sometimes as if Death were holding me softly in a feathered palm, feeding me with the white blood of sorrow. And I think of a lost bird flying toward a gray horizon it will never reach, above the broken mirrors of marshes and the gray fur of reeds, endless!

The heat was the visible expression of a terrible silence, a silence in which the cracked voices of the old women were as irrelevant as the discordant notes of far-off birds. A stasis of life had created a vortex of intensity, a stillness into which life poured itself with the vividness of death.

What a beautiful death.. or sleep! lol. Madame Dina was a dream.. a terrible, terrible dream that Aron faced. (New character). Everything seemed to be just a thought, more so a fever dream. Which leads to the end of the story as a lullaby for a peaceful death.. or sleep.

The book has made a shift. It has switched over to a more rich family. Madame Dina and Monsieur Renard. They both own servants but Madame Dina needs to make a payment that she’s been avoiding. She has no way of paying, so it is off with her head. However, Monsieur comes with a coin worth $900 that can help pay off what needs to be paid. Monsieur and Dina wants to escape but their servants are missing months of pay.

John is gone again!! John found a better job to work in a mine. Evelyn is left again, but this time left wondering if he will come home. A witch doctor tells her that he have passed, filling up negative things that happens to women with no man around. Fortunately, John comes back telling her that they are moving to somewhere better. Old door closes and a new one is opening. However, it is not like her old house.

Trouble in paradise!! Evelyn is sick, her husband is gone for long periods of time due to his job, and she has to deal with her uncle and auntie while they’re going through a divorce. What a mess! Her auntie constantly blames them for her sickness and her divorce. On top of that, a war is starting to happen. People are getting out of control and want revenge. Trouble, Trouble, Trouble.

So far, Evelyn and her husband John are loving the husband and wife role. Evelyn is one observant woman. She has a wondrous mind. She’s pregnant, of course, but not so sure if she’s ready to give her body up (changes that happens during the pregnancy). She’s not an attention whore, which is why she’s conscience every time she walks out the house and people are constantly staring her down.