Status Updates From The Secret of a Happy Home

This book is wearing me out. Unlike The Housekeeper's Week, which was inspiring with the gusto in which the author wrote about housekeeping (truly, it should be to anyone of any gender, if they keep their living space clean) I am not finding this inspiring or revitalizing.

It's reminding me of the women who gossiped at my church & in my community growing up underneath a veil of holy self-righteousness.

Oh, this lady.

Let us old people set an example of tolerance and charitable speech

I'm sure she thinks she sets an example, she trashes her servants & friends in her moral lessons & goes so far as to publish them. She's doing the 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all' thing and I swear the women who say that are the ugliest gossips. Goes for authors talking about reviews too lol

She's talking about teenagers now.

Do you recollect how you felt and dreamed and gushed when you were a girl, the pages of sentimental twaddle (as you now call it) which you confided to a diary which you burned in disgust at age 21?

One branch of work sons are sinfully deficient is 'putting things to rights.' The floor of your sons' room may be littered with books, papers, cravats, soiled collars and cuffs, but he never thinks it his duty to pick them up and keep his possessions in order. About one man in a thousand is an exception to this rule, and thrice blessed is she who weds him

She's talking about getting children to help with housework, and it's clear she has a distrust of her sons ability to do housework. Seems she only expects them to keep their room clean.

She is v. particular about housework, especially laundry, she doesn't even like how her servants get the job done. She's patient with her daughters, but easily frustrated by her sons' attempts

I need to mind my own damn business lmao.

There are statistics that a higher % of women come out at a disadvantage when they divorce, and this was a clear example to me of how that might occur. (though hypothetical - hopefully they stay happily married)

So, this book advocating financial literacy to housewives (in a sense) in the 1800s is admirable to me

Wise on his father's part if he doesn't trust his son or his wife. However, this young girl will be in for a rude awakening if she divorces 20 years later and learns legally she is due nothing and then tries to take on a mortgage or has to start over.

Financial literacy, transparency with a partner, expectations, and advocating for yourself (in a fair way) is so important.

I'm doing something this author says I shouldn't do. Which is admitting a fault of mine. I can be nosy.

An ex-friend of mine from an ex friend group married a girl. She was thrilled and very young. Very excited to now own her own house & property, she's rich now.

I looked up the deed (I know how to do that) and not only was her name not on the deed, her husband's name wasn't on the deed. It was owned by his father

It's clear this woman was prepared. She was not going to let that happen to herself or her daughters. She valued financial literacy. I can respect that.

Going back to the business side of being a SAHM, which this author is all about, I do respect it. I used to watch the Real Housewives (guilty pleasure admission) & what was common was for a gold digger to land a rich guy, but she had no knowledge of his actual financial situation. He just spent a lot on his card. Later they'd end up in bankruptcy, or some fraud lawsuit, or they'd divorce her and leave her penniless

I'm trying to think of how to describe it. It's like when an author tries to write about attitudes of the time back then the first thing they go to is virginity.

There were strong attitudes about how women should run their household, behave as wives and mothers but it seems writers today are unaware of those attitudes, at least not as comfortable writing it, but the discourse on virginity is still alive and well.

Another interesting thing is that in the historical romance books such emphasis is put on virginity, even in contemporary romance written today.

I haven't come across historical romance that puts as much emphasis on the work it took to run a household as this woman.

There is a real obsession with virginity today that is remarkable to me.

I actually would respect if I had been forced to attend home economics classes vs purity camps. At least home economics contains some practical tips.

Even back then I was holding back laughter. I started to grin and I remember my best friend nudging me to shut up.

That particular camp was my breaking point and I was determined to have as much sex before marriage as possible. We had a family friend request I go to her particular purity camp of choice she sent her children too and I flat out refused to attend anymore. The purity obsession is beyond ridiculous.

A funny memory is a mother getting in front of everyone and shredding a piece of paper, crying, and saying this was what her wedding night was like. Just the same as all the other times she had had sex before marriage, nothing special.

It was like she expected her wedding night to be electric and her husband, no God didn't deliver.

I remember she went off into a corner and all the girls whispering about her, I was so glad she had a friend who talked to her nonjudgmentally. (It was none of the mothers running it).

I have a friend who has encouraged her daughter to wait until marriage, because she is facing such peer pressure in high school.

I think that's fine.

Some of the purity camps are so hardcore though. One memory that haunts me is of a 14 year old girl who had been molested. She was being taught that she was worthless, trash by these purity camps.

Idk the purity camps likely rose in response to the media (the sexualization of women via Mtv during the 90s and such) this author likely believes in the value of virginity, but thinks it's such an accepted fact there's no need to mention it.

At least she doesn't drone on and on about it.

As a rule, until they are old men and women, they do not forget an undeserved blow, the unprovoked sarcasm. We many times receive patiently, as grown men and women, reminders that we are doing wrong, but we find it hard to pardon the person who accuses falsely.

wow she's really digging into in-law relations and it's starting to become amusing. I would quote but it's too much.

Sure I knew SAHMs, my mother was a SAHM (looking back, this isn't completely true, she had her own business ventures), but this author really focuses on the business side of being a SAHM, which I don't see emphasized as much in the Christian SAHM circles. Though I suppose I'm not really in them, so I wouldn't know the popular discourse.

Another odd thing that is surprising is that this woman hasn't mentioned virginity once. I grew up in the bible belt, and there was nothing taught to me about the financial worth of SAHMs (what this author focuses on) but instead I went to something like 5-6 purity camps and had it drilled into me not to have sex before marriage (I rebelled pretty hard).

But I'm still a fan of Jessica Valenti and love her writing about politics. This woman is still a little too judgey. She can write & publish books about how women should live all day long, but if another woman dares write about politics they deserve to be mocked